Popular culture has us believe that men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but when it comes to coping with cancer treatment and its side effects does gender really matter? The answer is yes. When it comes to cancer, experts agree that many men bottle up their emotions of fear, anxiety, and worry at the risk of losing a sense of masculinity. They often struggle speaking up and to seek help about their physical, sexual and hormonal changes that are common side effects associated cancer treatment.

Claire Postl, a licensed professional clinical counselor at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center offers the following tips to help men to help them cope with their cancer diagnosis:

• Ask questions: Don’t shy away from getting all the information about your diagnosis, treatment and its side effects from your doctor.

• “Not feeling like yourself” Talk about it: It may sound redundant but talk to your partner, a friend, a doctor, or your counselor about how you are feeling. If you’re experiencing something that isn’t normal, seek advice from a medical professional to make sure everything is okay.

• Seek Counseling: Cancer patients go through many changes during and after their treatment which can make it difficult to talk about to family and friends. Many men may feel emasculated. In that case, talking to a counselor can provide a safe environment to share feelings without any judgment or pitty.

• Do things that make you happy: cancer treatment often affects one’s energy levels,  appearance, sexual urges- do small things that can make you feel like yourself. Take your partner out on a date, wear that tie that makes you feel confident. Do things that make you feel more than just a cancer patient.

• It’s okay if you are struggling: Coping with a cancer diagnosis or treatment isn’t easy. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to be upset, be angry, or feel helpless about it. It’s okay to let people take care of you.

• Talk to your partner about responsibilities: Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about money, finances and shifting household responsibilities. It can be a difficult discussion but it is a lot better than getting consumed by the stress that goes with it.